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:iconridderkvinden: More from Ridderkvinden


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Literature by maye-may

Things that are words by Kreatress

Poetry by Mendedpixie


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September 26, 2013
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We did not expect the world to end.
It just did.
We kept saying “It won't happen in our lifetime.”
But it did.
We closed our eyes to the cracks in the walls
and they crumbled around us.
We forgot the decay in front of us.
It was so easy to ignore.
It ate away the foundations of our lives.
Still we ignored it
and claimed that life would go on.

We did not see it coming.
Even if it was right in front of us.
We tried to repair the cracks in the dams
though the water had already washed us away.
And though the clouds were black and red
we looked away.
Or stared ourselves blind on the colour display
as our skin peeled away beneath the acidic rain.

We dreamt of the sky
and reached for the stars.
Forgetting the ground beneath our feet.
It tore apart at the seams
the gaps too wide to repair.
And the sun was setting on a world
divided.

We did not predict the true apocalypse
though many a prophet had tried.
Their predictions were hollow
and we lost faith.
We did not listen to the real prophets
their warnings drowning in the white noise
of so many cries for wolves in the past.

So we did not expect the world to end.
But it did.
This is very random, seeing it is an attempt to spark my Muse and thus is written as more of an association ramble rather than an actual poem. I am not really sure what sparked it myself, other than the first sentence just popping into my head, so, I worked from there :D Any feedback is as always appreciated :)
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:iconnestharon:
Nestharon Featured By Owner Feb 8, 2014   Writer
Epic and Wonderful. I like it very much and I agree. I personally noticed that the world ended in 2000 when the new millennium came. Since than, only few things remain pure and positive nowadays.
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014
Thank you for the nice comment :) I am glad you like it :D And, all the more reason to cherish the good thing we have!
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:iconnestharon:
Nestharon Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2014   Writer
You are most welcome :)
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:iconjeanneylost:
JeanneyLost Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2013  Student General Artist
Your poetry was featured here: fav.me/d6ufg9g.
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:iconmazdi:
Mazdi Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013  Professional Interface Designer
"Or stared ourselves blind on the colour display
as our skin peeled away beneath the acidic rain"

That stanza sticks out the most to me. I can almost see it... people staring at their smartphones and TVs, completely oblivious as the world dies around us.

Very strong imagery in this poem, and a very poignant read.
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2013
Thank you so very much :) I am very happy you like it. And yeah, people are blinded by the medias, hearing and seeing reports on natural and human made disasters all the time. Most of them just doesn't react to it. I am happy you like my imagery, and that it sticks with you :D
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:iconikoter:
Ikoter Featured By Owner Oct 10, 2013  Student Writer
This is awesome.
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Oct 11, 2013
Thank you :) I'm happy you like it ^^
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:iconmismatchedsockgirl97:
MisMatchedSockGirl97 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I really enjoyed this poem. It's beautiful.
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013
Thank you very much :D I hope to see more from you as well soon :) Haven't seen anything from you in a long time ^^
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:iconmismatchedsockgirl97:
MisMatchedSockGirl97 Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer

Sorry about that....Life got a little crazy...

 

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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Oct 7, 2013
It happens ^^
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:iconhetaliadutch:
hetaliadutch Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm not say anything about the form of the poem, since I don't know much about that. I will say I really like this. To me this sounds like people not wanting to bother with the things around them or change their ways, but also as a fear there won't be a tomorrow. People postpone their dreams to another day and without a tomorrow, such a day would never come.
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
Thank you very much for the sweet comment :) And indeed, it is true. People have a tendency to constantly hunt for tomorrows and forget about today. I am happy you like the poem :D
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:iconblacksand459:
Blacksand459 Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist

An excellent poem!

"This is very random, seeing it is an attempt to spark my Muse..." I 've written poems for the exact same reason before and I applaud your fine efforts here. Sometimes, it is these "random" poems which are the most intriguing. :)

 

I think it has a good flow and continuity as well.

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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
Thank you so very much for the sweet comment :D I am very happy you like the poem :)
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:iconblacksilhoutte:
BlackSilhoutte Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Nice.. A good one!
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013
Thank you very much for the comment ^^ Happy you liked it :D
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:iconnhizyr:
Nhizyr Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Student Digital Artist
Oh well. Shit happens. :B

I'd quite like to know what it was that made the world end in your poem. It very much seems to me like the reason was simply human ignorance. ' - '
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
And in that, you are quite right. Human ignorance is a large part of what makes the world degrade, little by little. Not caring about pollution (Like, letting the car go and use your feet/bicycle or even public transportation. Not re-cycling. Not paying attention to all the little things that ends up making a great hole. So yes. In the poem, it is human ignorance that causes the demise. Also, the poem could be understood in a metaphorical manner as well. It is not the actual end of the world, but, an end to the humanity as we know it.
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:iconcrow-ash:
crow-ash Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I very much like it. Dark and beautiful. Promise of a future that is still possible. Very well done.
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you very much :D I am happy you like it :D
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:iconcrow-ash:
crow-ash Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome. I look forward to stumbling across more pieces of yours.
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:iconkoolshakes:
KoolShakes Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
nicely written
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you very much :)
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:iconkoolshakes:
KoolShakes Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
welcome! :-) :-)
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:icontwinelens:
Twinelens Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Hey,

I like the start of the poem, many parts are nice to read and vocalize. It's a little sad though that you did not sort the ramble, because the poem looses weight with every stereotype introduced and not explained. Why do the people look at the cracks but don't want to notice them? What does the TV stand for other then a common vice? Why don't people want to contact reality? Which options do they have apart from being "willing to see" and is it an option anyway?

There is lots of options for this poem anyhow. Intuition like you used is one of the most powerful tools, but it always needs to be focused, refined and sorted. That is, what I feel this poem lacks of and what leaves it in the grey, even-though it has got a good thematic and rhythmic foundation.
Try to lead your thoughts more precisely by concentrating on questions rather then answers. Debate instead of stating "what is right". You will reach the end of your own thought soon enough, sounding a little less didactic (if I may say so) and also more reasonable. Another Hint: Try to reuse images to create a bridge between distant verses and thus hold your poem together in thought and theme. Always keep in mind that you may need the poem to lead your thoughts, as it needs you to be written.

All the Best
Twinelens
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you so very much for the elaborate critique :) I will definently take it to heart for my future works, and I am happy you have pointed out the grey-zones :) This -was- a ramble, hoping to get my Muse to work again, so I will not attempt to justify the mess so to speak *Chuckles* I am also happy you point out that it has potential though! Again, thank you for the very elaborate comment :D I am happy you liked parts of it, and the potential in it, if nothing else :D
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:icontwinelens:
Twinelens Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You are welcome!
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:iconfromlampsandshade:
FromLampsAndShade Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
So here i find myself, in deviantart for the first time ( :D ) and your poem is the first I see....

Awesome! Awesome!! Awesome!!!  

Thanks for a great intro to deviantart!! :) 
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you for the sweet comment :D I am very happy you like my poem! And welcome to DA! I hope you will have a lot of good times here :D
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:iconk9k1n6:
K9K1N6 Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
It sounds really nice, very beautiful work you've made =)
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you very much for the nice comment :D I am happy you like it :)
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:iconmocha-zeid:
mocha-zeid Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Well done!   :)  :)
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you very much :D
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:iconna2ry:
Na2ry Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I'm not sure what Muse are you referring to, but if you are talking about the rock band Muse, this really capture their style. Almost similar to the Exogenesis symphony story and Map of the Problematique, but in a different perspective, like in third-person.

And i like the line, 

"We tried to repair the cracks in the dams
though the water had already washed us away."

Great piece, well done! :)
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
*Chuckles* The Muse I refer to is a muse in the Greek sense of the word. The Muse of inspiration. But, I like the band by the same name and definently do not mind the reference, nor to have somewhat captured their style :D Thank you very much for the comment :D I am happy you like my poem.
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:iconkyosohmaandedwardelr:
KyoSohmaAndEdwardElr Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
haha, Well, I can't speak for Ridderkvinden, but form my knowledge, Muse is like inspiration. (S)he was trying to spark her/his inspiration. Although Muse is a great band!
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:iconna2ry:
Na2ry Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I know :) , and Ridderkvinden execute it very well. From my perspective, of course.
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:iconkyosohmaandedwardelr:
KyoSohmaAndEdwardElr Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
UH-HUh1
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:iconjeanneylost:
JeanneyLost Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Student General Artist
It has to be said. Again and again. Wonderful work!
Reminds me of a song by CulchaCandela: "Schöne neue Welt" is handeling exactly this theme. Some people (most people) WILL NOT see what actually happening around them until it is MUCH too late. Makes me go mad every f******* time I think about it. -.-
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you very much for the comment :D And yes, it is unfortunately all too true that a lot of people are blind to what is going on around them, or simply think "Let someone else deal with it". It is sad :(
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:icontegori:
Tegori Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
This is wonderful!! :w00t:
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
:bow: Thank you very much! :D
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:icontegori:
Tegori Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
You're very welcome!! ;)
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:iconsephylover:
SephyLover Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Beautiful; simply amazing. It has a dark tone to it but it's not in your face, I like it!
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Thank you very much for the nice comment :) I am happy you like my poem :D
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:iconxkyuu-chanx:
xKYUU-CHANx Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2013  Hobbyist
Wow this motivates me to write something about the world's end now. ^^
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:iconridderkvinden:
Ridderkvinden Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013
Yay! I am happy to be able to inspire :D If you do write something inspired by this poem, do send me a link :D
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:iconxkyuu-chanx:
xKYUU-CHANx Featured By Owner Sep 27, 2013  Hobbyist
I decided to write a poem over it and I will share it with you ^^ -> tsukiyonoyume1126.deviantart.c…

It is not as good as yours though...
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