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:iconridderkvinden: More from Ridderkvinden


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Submitted on
April 15, 2013
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768
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Have you seen my dream?
It's not that big
But it is mine.

Have you heard my opinion?
It's worth two cents
It's worth every dime.

Have you touched my heart?
It is very fragile
But I am willing to share.

Have you seen my dream?
It may not be much
But at least I dare.
Small poem popping up out of nowhere :) Critque and comments are always welcome!
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:iconwildcat3264:
Wow ~ this is really amazing! It's so inspirational ^_^
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:iconridderkvinden:
Thank you sp much for your kind comment :) I am happy you like it!
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:iconnot-an-emo-girl942:
not-an-emo-girl942 Mar 15, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist

Hello, I'm a critic from :iconwriters--club:!  I absolutely love the concept here!  You crafted something that is short and sweet.  Each stanza has some big imagery that clearly holds a lot of meaning, and that is a beautiful thing. :)  I really love the heart stanza: it has a special life behind it that I really admire.

However, I would like to see you unify this piece a bit more.  Two of three stanzas include "it's", it may seem minor, but the third should stick to that pattern unless you have some reason to break it.  On the same note three of four stanzas finish off with "But..."; the last should be as well.


Overall, I love this piece, but I would like to see you take it further as well.  I hope to see more of your work soon. :)

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:iconridderkvinden:
Thank you so very much for the critique :) I am very happy that you like the poem, and grateful for the constructive criticism! I love writing, and often just write what comes to mind with little to no regard of shape, form or technique. It just goes from mind to pen. But, I believe it keeps me honest in my writings :) I will definently keep your advice in mind, and perhaps make a re-write of the poem some day. Thanks again for your comment :D
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:iconl-inque:
L-Inque Oct 15, 2013   Writer
I love the simplicity and honesty 
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:iconridderkvinden:
Thank you very much :) I am happy you like it :D
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:iconunexpectedpoison:
UnexpectedPoison Oct 12, 2013   Traditional Artist
A small but a heart-warming poem.:heart:
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:iconridderkvinden:
Thank you very much :)
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:iconkreatress:
Kreatress Oct 11, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Very meanngful, yet sweet and simple. I love it! Good work. :)
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:iconridderkvinden:
Thank you very much :D I am happy you like it :)
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